Original Date: May 4, 2006

Dear Son, Today marks one month. For one month, I have awakened to the sound of your breath, the smell of your skin. ... and in that month, you have completely changed, rearranged, and made beautiful my world. So much wisdom right there in your eyes for me to soak up - Ive found myself wondering is it I that soothes you, or perhaps . . . is it the other way around? Four short weeks, and already you have given more gifts than ever I could have imagined. Oh, I knew I would love you - but just how deliriously in love with you I could become, would become - my head still is unable to wrap around - and again, in only four weeks. I never thought about how I would look into teary eyes and cry myself. . . .Didnt know I could become gloriously happy over a simple grin. Before you, I had no idea how many late hours at night I could spend watching you sleep. How is it that something, . . . someone so small can make me feel so big - so important? How many times have I held you while you slept - not because you needed me to - but because I needed to. I would willingly give my life for yours, and die again a thousand deaths to save you from any harm this life threatens to bring - for I never lived before there was you anyway . . . I thought I was living, but there simply was no life before you. However did I make it all those years before you chose me? And now, I cant even remember hardly a second of that time - nor do I want to. It seems that now, there is only you, and was nothing before you. Thank you dear child, for the blessing of your love. I will never deserve it, but will selfishly take it forever, and give back to you every once I have in me, until I draw my last breath. One day Son, one day you will ask "how much" . . . . and my simple reply again and again will be - "so much Son . . .so very much."