Man of Few Words

Dear Son,

So you have learned to say "dog."

I think it is your third actual word.
I've claimed a lot of other ones, but
truth be told . . . they probably wouldn't
pass for actual English, and none of us
speak Cantonese.

That aside, you surely can appreciate my
excitement.

Now every time a dog appears on the
TV screen (and by every time I do mean
every solitary time you happen to catch a glance
of a canine, animated or otherwise)
. . . you point.

"Dog!"

This is a matter of serious business to you.
It is urgent you convey to me that there is
indeed a dog on the television. As in, "hey
lady, drop what you're doing . . .I'm trying
to tell you . . . .

"Dog!"

Whenever we happened upon
a camel on the discovery
channel this evening . . .

"Dog!"

Well certainly that was an honest
mistake. "No honey . . .that is a camel."

Your rebuttal?

"Dog!" "Dog, Dog Dog!!!"

. . . then when clicking I landed
on the oh so tragic "Tremors" (starring
Kevin Bacon no less) just as the dreaded
worm was emerging from the desert
sand.. . .

"DOG!!"


(Yeah, I saw that one coming a mile away.)