First Haircut

Today.

In kitchen sink.

And you look marvelous.


(pictures soon to come!)

(Edit: before and after shots!)

Luca: 1 Mom: 0

Dear Son,

First, allow me to ask, (and do please pardon my saying), but WHAT THE HELL was in those shots you received Friday @ your 12 month checkup? Yes, I signed the immunization consent form, but no where (not even I the fine print might I add) did it say ANYTHING to the effect of "the immunizations you child will be receiving today can and will cause said child to lose his/her mind."

*sigh*

Ok. Heres the thing. You've always been an extremely laid back baby - from day one. People often have asked, "does he ever cry?" They comment . . . "oh, you're so lucky - he's so well behaved. Watch out for the second one." They constantly marvel at how well behaved you are, for "such a little baby." And I assure them that it's none of my doing - your behavior can only be attributed to constant prayer while you were in the womb, that remained constant even after you were in the world. (Although admittedly, my chest has swelled a few times as I've thought "hey, I really MUST be doing something right here, he IS pretty special.")

So I guess God decided to showcase a bit of his sense of humor.

One week ago today you had those dreadful immunizations . . . and I do declare - I believe I have brought home a different child. While I have taken into consideration the fact that you are teething, (duly noted that this is your 7th tooth, - and none of the previous 6 have elicited such a reaction,) and that I do know some times immunizations leave babies feeling "fussy", (again, we've been through this before with no problems) . . . .

keeping in consideration all these things:
You have learned the art of the temper tantrum, and Son . . . . you are an ace.

It's all out and out drama - complete with head banging and the most high pitched scream you can fathom coming from a human ( think banshee). Not being one to rest on my laurels, I decided to grab the bull by the horns and get control of these . . we'll call them "episodes" before you decide to make them a habit.

This morning @ 11:15am, all was right with the world. I'm rinsing dishes, you are taking in an episode of The Backyardigans . . . little did I know the storm that was brewing. Suddenly, it was 11:19am, and you were in complete melt-down come-apart mode. There was nothing wrong with you (i.e. - your tummy was full, your bottom was dry . . .and besides, we mothers just know these things - you were in no pain, no distress . . . you just decided to throw a fit.) Indeed, there was a part of me that wanted to just scoop you up and hold you close . . . but that would have only encouraged the behavior tomorrow and the days to follow. So - it was with a slightly (and only slightly mind you) heavy heart that I placed you in your crib . . . and walked away.

What happened next can only be described as . . . well, to be honest, I'm not sure I can give a completely accurate description. To say you reached a new level of boldness would be putting it mildly. There were shouts and screams and moans and groans. You whizzed every toy in your crib to the floor. You gagged - you wailed. I took it all for about . . . six minutes. Then I had to return. It was just too much to sit in the other room and listen to. So - I told myself there were clothes and toys to be put aways in your room - and I could take care of these things while you finished your tantrum . . . I'd leave you in your crib - and perhaps as long as you could see me in the same room, you'd calm yourself down and we could go about our day.

(Aren't I ever the optimist?)

Things didn't go quite as planned. As I picked up around your room - you became more and more agitated - a veritable cornucopia of snot and tears and sweat. I remained calm and focused on the task - calmly assuring you that "if you'll just calm down and stop crying - mommy will take you out and we can go play." My tactics were futile . . . I offered you stuffed animals - they went flying passed my head . . . I gave you toys - you shoved them away . . . what about a nice cool washcloth? . . . yeah right. I read you books. I put on a puppet show. I sang you a song.

Nothing. Nill. Nada.
50 minutes had passed.
So, I did the only other thing I knew to do - . . . I left you in there to continue crying.

I had just made it down the hall and back to the sink to finish the dishes . . . when I heard it:

KERPUNK.

Huh? Theres nothing left in his bed for him to throw out.... and even had there been - it wouldn't sound like THAT. I rushed down the hall . . . only to bed met by you at the other end coming my way like an angry bull.
You had somehow . . . escaped - from your crib! But how? How could you have possibly gotten over the side rail? There was nothing for you to boost yourself up with . . . but there was no time for figuring it out.

You were not crying . . . you were not sad . . . you had a certain look of determination I'd not witnessed from you before.

OK OK!! I give . . . you win.

This battle anyway.

Happy Easter

Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy

Dear Son,

Beautiful boy . . . today is your day. Today is the day that one year ago you came into my world and colored it with hues and tones I'd before never even considered much less been aware of. In this year, my heart has grown in leaps and bounds . . . it has stretched and blossomed . . . it has learned new patience and understanding for the ways of the world - and for the people living in it. Sweet child - you have taught me the meaning of radiance and let me experience the beauty of dying to self. I've looked into your eyes and known the secrets of the universe and done nothing less than move closer to God.

Thank you Son, for teaching me what it means to live . . . what it means to never put off till tomorrow what should be said today . . . for showing me how to be more free with my love . . . for re instilling upon my heart the truth that is real love never fails. . . for reminding me how insignificant my existence is - and how all consuming yours is and will continue to be. Thank you for choosing me to be the vessel in which you would come into life to be the perfect reflection of God's grace. Please always know and remember the truths I try to teach you - most important of those to be just how much God loves you . . . that I will love you more and more each day - to the highest mountain and the deepest valley . . . that I would gladly give my life for yours ten thousand times over - but in all of those things . . .remember my love pales in comparison to the infinite love God has for you. I can't even fathom that love for one second in my mind. Remember Son, that nothing you become will disappoint me. I have no preconception that I'd like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you . . . .only to discover you.

Remember my love for you Son.

And remember:

On
the
path
to
the
dream

you will uncover many treasures

and
encounter
stubborn
obstacles


which may spring up when you least expect

so
when
you
trip
on
roots
and
rocks

and rub the skin raw off your shin

do
remember,
while
you're
sitting

(perhaps feeling
sorry for
your self)

to touch
the cool
green fuzz of moss

and see the dazzling sun dancing

and hear
the
glorious
song of
birds,
as they call to one another

and when you've rested you'll continue,

with love
and
beauty

while
wisdom
waits

with patient trust

in
your
arrival.


Happy First Birthday Beautiful Boy.

Mom loves you.

Nearly One Year

Dear Son,

This past weekend, your family and I whisked you away for your first ever vacation - a celebration of your first year of life. It was a wonderful time in the heart of Pigeon Forge Tn. We stayed high atop a mountain in a breathtakingly beautiful chalet overlooking a picturesque valley. Your Grandma Peggy, Grandma Toni, Grandpa Danny, Uncle Chris, Aunt Mimi, Uncle Jesse, Aunt Lana and five of your cousins, as well as Nana and Les joined us in the festivities. You seemed to very much enjoy yourself, but I could tell the noise level was a little startling to you. It's pretty quiet for the most part around our home - and when we all get together . . . well, quiet is the last word I would use to describe us. You seemed determined to be heard, and spent much of the time just letting your presence be known by shouting out over everyone whenever you decided we were being too loud. You of course had your very own cake to dig in to . . . and promptly stuck your face in it after being shown the way by your Uncle Chris. We came home with more clothes and toys for you than I am sure what to do with at this point . . . I was a little concerned we wouldn't even be able to pack it all into our vehicle for the ride home, but we made it none the less.

I was especially thrilled when on the way home we stopped in a little baby shop in Gatlinburg called Smokey Mountain Baby. We picked you out a little Gilligan's hat, that you were none too excited to wear . . . but the thing that I will always remember about that place is shop owner. He seemed quite taken with you, as most people seem to be when they meet you. He asked your name and after playing with you for a moment, was kind enough to help your grandmother out with the stroller while I continued to look around the store. When I was checking out, I noticed the song playing over the speaker . . . and noticed the children were singing YOUR NAME!! I paused at first in disbelief - since your name is a unique one I have never really seen or heard on anything else. But, he had programed it in to the computer and there it was, playing for all to hear. Probably seems like a silly little thing to you - but I was overjoyed by his thoughtfulness.

Tomorrow is your actual birthday. Still it is hard for me to believe . . . I've had you for a year.

On one hand - seems like just yesterday . . . and then, on the other - seems like you've been here forever.

Always remember son . . .

I carry your heart with me
(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,
my darling)

I fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and its you are
whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will aways sing
is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope or
the mind can hide

and THIS is the wonder thats keeping the starts apart

I carry your heart
(I carry your heart in my heart)

e.e. cummings

More than anything I could ever hope to say
my dear Son . . .

The above says it all.

I love you to the moon.